Have you ever run into an ex and felt your heart race, your stomach drop, your palms start to sweat? Maybe for a second, you thought, “Wow, maybe I still love them…”
But here’s the truth: that isn’t love. That’s your nervous system reading danger.
For those of us who grew up in chaotic or emotionally unsafe environments, our systems become wired to see unpredictability and pain as “normal.” In fact, peace might feel… boring. Stillness might make you restless. And when we mistake nervous system activation for passion, we end up chasing partners who reawaken the pain — not heal it.
That magnetic pull you felt with your ex? It wasn’t love. It was your body reliving a trauma bond.
Here’s the deeper truth — that ache you feel after the breakup, the burn, the longing… it wasn’t their love you missed. It was yours. You were the one pouring from your heart. You were the source.
And when you realize that, everything changes. Because your love is the lighthouse — not just to your healing, but to your true match. Someone whose heart resonates on the same frequency. Someone capable of the same depth of love you hold.
Let’s go even deeper.
The original Hebrew word translated as “rib” — when Eve was created from Adam — wasn’t actually “rib.” It was ṣēlā‘, which means side chamber… as in, the side of the heart. You share a heart with someone out there who can love you from their core. Who sees love as devotion, not chaos.
But you won’t meet them if your nervous system is still chasing old patterns.
That’s why somatic trauma spotting is so powerful. It’s a tool to rewire those old pathways. To help your body feel safe in calm, in connection, in love — real love.
It’s time to stop calling anxiety love.
It’s time to break the trauma bond.
It’s time to remember who the source of all that love really was.
👉 Check out my free training and learn how to break the toxic relationship cycle — starting with your body. Link in bio.