For many trauma survivors, joy doesn’t come easily.
Even in moments of peace, safety, or celebration, it’s common to feel disconnected, numb, or even anxious. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why can’t I just enjoy this?”—you’re not alone.
The answer lies in your nervous system.
And the good news is, joy can be re-learned.
The Cost of Survival
When we experience complex trauma—especially over long periods of time—our nervous system adapts to help us survive. It learns how to stay alert, detect threats, and protect us from emotional or physical harm. This is known as living in a chronic survival state, where the body cycles through:
- Fight (anger, tension, control)
- Flight (anxiety, overworking, restlessness)
- Freeze (numbness, dissociation, fatigue)
- Fawn (people-pleasing, losing yourself in others)
In these states, joy isn’t a priority. Safety is.
The brain and body shift resources away from pleasure and connection to focus on vigilance and protection. Over time, even after the trauma ends, this wiring can stay in place—making joy feel foreign or even dangerous.
Trauma and the Brain’s Reward System
Neuroscience shows that trauma alters the brain’s dopamine and oxytocin systems—chemicals involved in motivation, pleasure, bonding, and joy.
This means:
- You may feel disconnected from activities you used to love
- You may seek control or perfectionism instead of play
- You may feel uncomfortable or self-conscious when others are being silly or expressive
None of this means you’re broken.
It means your body has been trying to protect you.
And now, with gentleness and consistency, it’s possible to teach it something new.
Play as Medicine
Play isn’t just for children. It’s a biological tool for healing.
When we engage in spontaneous, joyful, or creative expression—like dancing, laughing, painting, or playing a game—we activate the ventral vagal system in the nervous system. This signals safety, allowing the body to come out of protection mode and re-enter connection.
Play also boosts the release of dopamine and oxytocin, helping to rewire the brain’s reward system and reawaken the natural ability to feel good.
In other words:
Play helps the body remember what it feels like to be alive.
How to Start Feeling Joy Again
If joy feels out of reach, start small. Healing isn’t about pushing through—it’s about inviting in. Try:
- Dancing to one song in your kitchen
- Painting or coloring with no plan or outcome in mind
- Laughing with your kids when they do something silly
- Walking barefoot in grass or doing something playful just because
At first, it might feel awkward or forced. That’s okay.
Healing is often uncomfortable before it becomes natural.
Over time, these playful moments begin to soften the armor built by trauma. They send a new message to your nervous system:
“It’s safe now. You’re allowed to enjoy life again.”
Final Thoughts
Joy isn’t frivolous—it’s essential.
Especially for those who have known deep pain, reclaiming joy is a radical act of healing.
So if you’re learning to laugh again, to be silly, to play badly on purpose—know this:
You’re doing sacred work. And you’re not alone.
#TraumaSpotting #HealingJourney #NervousSystemHealing #ComplexTrauma #PlayAsMedicine